Wednesday, 23 July 2008

Our Liquid Lives This Is How We All Survive

I welcome you to an illustrated guide to making cake in a mug, the ultimate in ridiculous breakfasts.

Quick run down of the ingredients.

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4 heaped dessert spoons of Self Raising Flour
4 spoons of Sugar
2 spoons of Cocoa
1 Egg
4 tablespoons of Milk
2 desert spoons of oil
1 Mug
1 Microwave
1,000,000 spoons

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Chuck the flour into your cup.

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Add the sugar.

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Then the Cocoa, and mix them all up.

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Crack in the egg.

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And mix that in... ick..

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Pour in the milk and stir.

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Add the oil, and then give it a final stir, and you should be left with a brown liquid mess.

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Stick it in the microwave for 3 minutes. It'll probably make a huge mess, so put a plate or some kitchen towel under the mug.

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Et voila. Cake!

Loves to you all.

Tuesday, 22 July 2008

Doughnut?

Bloody Hell..

Good old Dexter finale being freaking amazing.

LOVES IT!

To You I'm Just A Novel That You Wish You'd Never Wrote.

Still no words from me. I'm too busy wallowing in self pity. For no reason I imagine.

Any niceness you have can be forwarded to my phone.

Have a couple of pictures.

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Thursday, 10 July 2008

Who Took The Bomb?

This isn't so much a proper post, as it is just putting a couple of snaps up for the sake of keeping updated.

It's questionable why. I mean, I don't think anybody looks at it. But I have to do it for my own head.. I think.

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Sunday, 1 June 2008

Apply Some Pressure

Dear Apple.

I'd like to think I'm fairly loyal to you. If for the wrong reasons. I've owned three iPods, and last August, I bought a Macbook Pro. Oh how I reveled in it's shiny aluminium case, it's glowy apple, it's super cooling image processing capabilities. It's now the start of June. My beloved Mac is in the repair shop. The harddrive died. As did the optical drive. Not even a year.

I lost all the work I've done in the last month, mostly due to my own stupidity, and forgetting to take the external hard drive back to uni with me. All the same though, I think it's entirely reasonable to expect that your work would be fine for a month when the machine it's on isn't even a year old. Seriously.

I'm not even getting into the two iPods that broke. And the rudeness I experienced when trying to get one of the iPods fixed. I don't like to dwell on the past, as should be obvious from the fact that I bought the Mac in the first place.

I'm dissapointed Apple, I'll be completely honest. Time and time again, I've given you chance after chance, and all I get is a big 'fuck you' at deadline time. Oh yes, I've had to work my ass off this past weekend to try and get some of my work back so I have something to hand in tomorrow so I don't fail this year. You almost cost me well over £4000.

I won't be buying a new mac when my 3 years warranty is up, and the mac dies again, (because to be honest, I completely expect it to die again and again)I'll probably just buy a dell or something. At least that won't be a hugely expensive mistake. A few hundred is in no way comparable to two grand.

I'll still defend you when people slag you off and call you pretentious though.. But mostly for my sanity.

Monday, 26 May 2008

You got me turning all the lights on and off

So, yesterday, I was awake for approximately 4 hours out of the 24. I consider this to be a good Sunday, and I hate Sundays.

But, on Saturday, I went to the carnival of excitement that is Gay Pride! Whilst I didn't get as many pictures as I would have hoped, I did get a few, and so, as I'm in my little Solpadol induced haze, and I'm also watching High School Musical to make myself feel better, I will present to you, my favourite pictures, but without the usual witty commentary. Well.. Maybe a little commentary..

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The whole place was swarming with Police. It makes sense I guess. Some of the Police were joining in with the pink based vibe!

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The Lady Police Person was upset I didn't get her in my original picture, so I took a new one for her.

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These Police People looked distinctly less impressed.

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There were loads of men wearing almost nothing. Luckily for them, it was very warm. This man was giving out whistles.

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I'm almost certain that he was not a real marine...

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There were lots of people selling flags and whistles for outrageous prices. Luckily, I'm super smart and didn't fall for it.

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On the odd occasion, some people asked me to take their pictures. This guy was Posh and Becks. Whenever he was surprised by something, his monocle fell out XD

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How this guy was still alive, I will never understand. Leather on a day that warm! Some people suffer for their passions I guess.

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Of course, when some gay men can't help but to get their bottoms out.

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There was a bucking bronco type thing with a WKD bottle, people didn't do particularly well.

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I saw this guy on at least 4 separate occasions, each time with his can of Strongbow. It made me feel at home.

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This lady was dancing. To this day, I'm not sure if she was frowning at me or her friends who refused to dance..

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There weren't many drag queens. However, this one was looking particularly sophisticated.

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Not all the drag queens were cheery and camp though...

Sunday, 18 May 2008

I'm A Gasoline Gut With A Vaseline Mind

I promised it days ago, but here it is now. I'm determined to make my way through this. Watch how my witty comments get duller and duller as I get bored.

I'm going to try and group these together, but it may not work out brilliantly, as the sequencing and narratives lecture we've been promised for the last few weeks has been cancelled twice. So first of all, I'll give you the people, as I'm acutely aware of the fact that my mother doesn't understand my Performance Photography Shoe's project. So that will be at the bottom, so it can be skipped.

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'I don't care if it rains or freezes
'Long as I got my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car'

David and Carey keep singing folk songs on David's half size guitar. It's pretty cute listening to them both.

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Because we are quite the cool kids in my house, We spend a lot of time in the Garden while it's sunny. Along with the Garden and the Sun, is Cider. It seems a completely logical match.

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Oh, and music. We can't forget the music. We stick the speakers out the bathroom window, because we're hardcore.

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Jamie tends to be at the centre of attention in our gatherings, everything seems to be a bit calmer when he's quieter.

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But it's always only momentary. He's soon back to silliness.

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Ed's hats keep changing throughout the evening.

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Eli is lovely. I can't say a bad thing about him. Especially when he appears in pictures like this. Which everyone loves.

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Hairless is a king poser. I think it may well be this face that has lured many a girly girl back to our house.

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House Grant. Looking distinctly hungover and contemplative on the train to Birmingham.

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Speaking of Birmingham, I think it may well be a right of passage for photographers to take pictures of the selfridges building. And rightly so. It's phenomenal when you actually see it. Pictures can do no justice to it.

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After all my kerfuffles with lens' recently, I am now in love with my new lens. I'd start rattling on about it's specs, but I think it's better to let the pictures it captured do the talking.

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Seriously. The building is bloody gorgeous!

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The Bullring. My God. I have never seen so many people in a shopping centre before. Not even in Dublin! It was hectic, to say the least.

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Hokay then. Shoes!

Quick brief - I'm doing a project on performance photography. There is an Irish photographer named Hannah Starkey. She has a series of work called 'The Mundane Situation'. The pictures are situations you would come across on any given day, but rather than being straight documentary, the situations are meticulously set up. Actors and props are both arranged in a way that seems completely natural. In the case of Starkey's pictures, it is really, the back story that makes them appealing. In my project, I'm doing something fairly similar, but with shoes, and not people.

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It took about half an hour to set this up. I took about 40 pictures. This was the only one I really like. Which is somewhat disappointing, to say the least. That said, it did lead to a highly exciting barbecue, and an impromptu bonfire, so hurrah!

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Of course, in order to have a barbecue, we need food. The shoe pictures I took in Morrisons were not fabulous, but considering the fact that there are hundreds of people around, resulting in embarrassment, and a need to hurry, so someone doesn't mess up the shot, and I'm technically not supposed to be taking pictures in Morrisons. People I'm sure have done far worse in the quest for a good photograph.

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Now, this could either be a late night drug deal, or a secret meeting between lovers. Personally, for the sake of hilarity, I'm routing for the first scenario.

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I liked this picture, because although you can't really see the shoes, I think it's all set up quite nicely. And it just makes me think of how clean and organised Nan's houses generally are.

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Until of course, you reach their chairs. Then it all transforms into nothing but cosy ^_^

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On to an adventure. The shoe's went to Abergavenny.

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They checked out all the station safety signs, and checked their timetables, to make sure they did in fact get the train to Abergavenny and not Manchester.

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As usual, the train was late, so sitting around on benches seemed a good idea.

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As the time went by, and trains not meant for them passed through, the shoes contemplated leaving and giving up on their grand adventure.

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Their patience eventually paid off however, and they queued up to get onto the train.

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They shoes had a peaceful train journey, which was unusual, as something usually goes wrong.

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When they reached Abergavenny, they spotted a pub, and being the studently types they are, it seemed only rational to pay it a quick visit, so off they ran down the bridge steps.

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After the drinking, the shoe's paid a quick visit to the loo's, and went back home.

The End ^_^